barrett.dudevice.com

God Bless Rock and Roll…and God Bless The Hold Steady

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 00:25:00 -0400

God Bless Rock and Roll…and God Bless The Hold Steady

"This is like A cup tits, SHIT!….but cute"

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 13:11:11 -0400

“This is like A cup tits, SHIT!….but cute”

- Kitty Kelly

vigeant: Speak up. Only you can prevent my coworker’s certain...

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 13:10:14 -0400

vigeant:

Speak up.

Only you can prevent my coworker’s certain paralysis.

.

Shown above is a picture of a coworker of mine standing on top of a ledge he feels that he can jump from without being hurt. He and I currently sit in a cubicle where this ledge is visible, and it has become one of my favourite daily pastimes to question his sanity in regards to this subject. Why? Because I find it absolutely shocking that when he looks at the height of that ledge, his Ivey Business School educated brain thinks “Wow, that would be a piece of cake! What could possibly go wrong?”

.

This is usually how a conversation goes down:

Kevin: I think it has something to do with route determination…

Luke: Yeah, but you also think that you can jump off that ledge over there…

*Luke pauses and points to the ledge*

Luke (continued): land on both feet, and walk away… which is absolutely ridiculous thus discrediting all your future thoughts.

Kevin: Dude, straight up, I could jump that and walk away.

Luke: Kevin, there is absolutely no fucking way… how can you even think that?

Kevin: I’ll do it right now.

Luke: Dude, when you go on disability after breaking your legs… or, you die… I am going to be investigated.

Kevin: Then stop provoking it, I’ll do it… I would have done it already if you guys weren’t so worried.

Luke: Jesus.

.

Kevin finishes at the client we are currently at this Friday and I am very worried that I am going to be sitting at my desk, wondering where Kevin is, receive a text message from him along the lines of “Look out the window, on ledge, ready to jump, be back up in 2” as his farewell.

If you have any thoughts on this issue, I urge you to send me a message on facebook or reblog this post with your viewpoint as I am compiling a dossier to present to the little guy.

A very frightened,

Luke Vigeant

I think this is a do-able jump, only because I Remember jumping off my elementary school roof, BUT (and here’s the but), the rocks at the landing point would be trecherous to navigate. I think if the landing surface was different (for example, the earth or cotton ball dumpster) this would be an easy jump, you could do the jump, tuck, and roll and absorb the impact/be a hero/get laid within 10 seconds…

However

Seeing as it is the lame office building rock garden, I am going to say this jump will cause some serious pain.

It’s a game of honor and diplomacy…

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 23:59:22 -0500

It’s a game of honor and diplomacy…

My Mother has added me to facebook...

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 11:39:37 -0500

pbrown:

looks like I will be cleaning up my profile.

I am stoked to start cursing on your wall…

East Bound And Down is the funniest program on television...

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 09:29:32 -0500

To prove this point, I present to you the premier episode…

I saw this movie this evening, it was awesome.

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 20:09:41 -0500

I saw this movie this evening, it was awesome.

The Dusty Footed Philosopher makes tracks in this city...

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 14:19:03 -0500

In these days of unemployment, I’ve reverted to some old ways, specifically those ways are staying up way too late and listening to KROQ out of Los Angelas. I’m comfortable with this because KROQ remains the greatest radio station I’ve ever heard, I can put up with their bizarre acceptance of Linkin Park because they have turned me on to some of my favorite bands of the past 6 or 7 years (Muse, The Killers, The Bravery, Against Me! to name a few).

Lately KROQ have been hyping two songs that I’ve been hooked on for two different reasons, one is smart, lyrically tight and just as good as I remember it…the other is big, dumb, danceable and could melt snow if played loud enough.

A few years ago, K’naan released his first album, The Dusty Footed Philosopher, the album won a Juno (Which means nothing to McNutt) and sparked a lot of hype for Canada’s Somali-Canadian War Poet. The album is full of sick songs that can get asses to shake and brains to think, my favorite of which was called If Rap Gets Jealous, the beat, the lyrics, the message, it’s easily my favorite Canadian hip hop track ever, bottom line.

“I don’t hear verses no more, I hear jerkin off punks with lip glosses and purses”

So imagine my surprise when I heard somebody ripping it off on KROQ. It started with the guitar, it was the same riff, just a little louder, a little heavier. I was angry, well not angry, but it was a weird sensation of feeling like somebody had just stolen something from you. That feeling was quickly replaced by, “wait, what?” This was still K’naan, this was still If Rap Gets Jealous, it was different, but it was the same song, just done entirely different and just as awesome. Does that make any sense?

Turns out he’s re-recorded the track for his new album with a new guitarist in the mix, some young upstart called Kirk Hammett. The lyrics are different but the message is the same and it’s my first must have track of 2009.

Next up, the exact opposite…

Iglu & Hartly are the worst kind of guilty pleasure, they look annoying, they look like they’re having entirely too much fun, the rest of their tunes aren’t that good, but the one song is just so god damned catchy that you can’t deny it.

I think the thing about this track is that it makes me think of how I wish I spent my child hood, mainly surfing in the morning, skating in the day time, drinking at night time and living in California. Did you ever see the Lords Of Dogtown? Think of that.

But it’s cold here in this city, so all I can do is bust this song out and close my eyes. I’m cool with that, every now and then it beats out looking for work… It’s MGMT with a little more hip hop influence, and if it creeps into Canadian playlists around late may/early june, we’re all going to be dancing to it surrounded by people in skinny jeans, bright colors and moustaches, and I’m cool with that.

This song will definitely become annoying eventually, but that doesn’t stop it from being one of the must haves of 2009

The Hold Steady Get All Hero Worshippy

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 10:42:14 -0500

The Hold Steady have unleashed a few good covers in their day. From Take Me Out To The Ball Game to Against The Wind, they knock their loving brand of Americana out of the park. That said, they have taken to time to out do themselves as part of the upcoming War Child compilation album, Heroes. The album works like this, classic artists have asked modern acts to take a track from their catalog and do it justice. Lily Allen does the Clash, The Scissor Sisters do Roxy Music, and the Hold Steady do the Boss. Using the blue print laid down by Bruce during the reunion tour in the late 90’s, the Hold Steady deliver a full band rendition of Atlantic City that is, quite simply, Boss. Check it out and pick up the album later this month, it’s for a good cause kids…and there’s enough good stuff on there to warrant the purchase.

The Best Tackle of The Super Bowl

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 10:38:12 -0500

Fucking Majestic

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 23:42:23 -0500

Fucking Majestic

Cory Snider: Embarrasment To The General Human Populous.

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 10:53:14 -0500

pbrown:

Several days ago I posted a message on the St.FX student Union message board (in the Bum-A-Ride section) looking for a possible ride to the Halifax Airport on Tuesday December 16th (yesterday). Here is my post:

Fri Dec 12, 2008 12:52 pm Reply with quote Send private message

Title: NEED: A Ride To Halifax Airport Dec 16th

Anyone who is willing to offer a ride to Halifax on Tuesday, December 16th would be a saint in my books!

I will chip in gas money.

Paul
x2003ykx@stfx.ca

I received this email response TODAY:

Subject: Airport

Hey! Saw your post on X-Talk… I know it’s last minute here.. but if you are still looking, we are getting a shuttle out of antigonish at 3 am Thursday Morning, to get us to the airport around 530-6 am.
1) It’s $50, only $10 more than bus, and gets us there much faster than bus does
2) If your planning to take the bus tonight, you should come with us because you could get some sleep tonight and avoid sleeping at the airport

Lemme know ASAP if you’re interested!
Cheers
Cory

Cory Cory Cory,

There are so many things wrong with this email.

You are offering to give me a ride two days after my flight has already left.

You are asking me to to get up at the ungodly hour of 3am to pay $20 more than the bus (you claimed $10) to sit in a crammed shuttle,

Furthermore, you claim that by doing this I could get some sleep. But I would be getting up incredibly early here, or even not sleeping at all..

You are claiming that this shuttle is faster than the bus, but the 2.5 - 3 hour trip time is the exact same.. so no, it is not much faster.

What made you think I was going to sleep at the airport overnight,

I will spare you here…

Cory, the fact is that you are an idiot… and that I would much rather take the bus than ride in the expensive shuttle for insomniacs who enjoy sacrificing convenience for no reason whatsoever.

As my younger brother would say Cory; FAIL.

Also he ended an e-mail with Cheers, ultimate doucher move

"Three estranged frontmen, a neverending set of possible dates and scenarios, no word on who’s doing..."

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 07:39:56 -0500

“

Three estranged frontmen, a neverending set of possible dates and scenarios, no word on who’s doing what, and a tactical genius nobody gets along with. The Coalition can only have one name:

Van Halen

”

- Guy On The McLean’s Message Board

Bruce Springsteen - The Wrestler Bank on this right now. This...

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 17:56:15 -0500

Bruce Springsteen - The Wrestler

Bank on this right now. This song wins the Academy Award for best original song.

Audio

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 06:57:31 -0500

Land-o-no-you-didn’t!

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 07:23:32 -0500

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/a863be2b6f/vote-for-lando-calrissian-w-billy-dee-williams-from-fod-team

Land-o-no-you-didn’t!

You Were Not Good Enough Then, & You Are Not Good Enough Now... Take Off The Harvard Sweater.

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 10:56:13 -0400

pbrown:

Listen up. I have a serious pet peeve brewing here.

Harvard Sweaters. Some so called “hipsters” or “intellectual wannabe’s” here on campus at St. FX walk around sporting clothing with the Harvard logo plastered on the front of it.

What message are you sending when you wear a Harvard sweater?

I go to Harvard?

Well, the answer to that is clearly NO.

I am smart?

I doubt it, real smart people wouldn’t be seen wearing a Harvard sweater on St. FX campus. You know why? because those people ACTUALLY GO TO HARVARD… or other Ivy League Schools.

I support Harvard?

Ok, I can moderately understand this one. But still, why do you support Harvard? It couldn’t possibly be any of there sports teams. So obviously you’re saying “I support Harvard because it is an elite educational institution. However, I don’t go there. I just think it’s Neat!”

Look, I am not claiming to be some brain. I clearly didn’t get into Harvard, nor do I attend the school. Even if I did apply, I wouldn’t have got in. But take off that stupid sweater… save the HARVARD SWEATERS for the HARVARD PEOPLE… i.e. NOT YOU. Anyone attending Harvard reading this post is exempt from this criticism.

Somebody Put Tyler Mercer on suicide watch, he’s definitely going to give a care about this.

Hypothetical Situation (But very likely)

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 09:38:55 -0400

Some kid: "Hey Mister"
Paul: "You talking to me?"
Some kid: "Ya, what is your favourite hockey team?"
Paul: "Oh, well uhh... The Toronto Maple Leafs"
Some kid: "You're an idiot."
Paul: "I know. "
--- Moments Pass---
Some Kid: "Hey Mister"
Adam: "Hey kid, what's up?"
Some Kid: "What's YOUR favorite hockey team?"
Adam: "Definitely the Florida Panters"
Some Kid: "At least you're not an idiot like that Paul guy"
Adam: "I respect Paul as a person"
Some Kid: "You're an ass hole"
--- Paul eves drops on conversation as he is walking away and turns around ---
Paul: "Hey kid...
Some Kid: "Huh?"
Paul: "Screw you... and AddieB?"
Adam: "Huh?"
Paul: "Listen up. Fact 1, the Florida Panthers have failed to make the playoffs in seven consecutive seasons. Fact 2, they had the most racist goalie of all time (John Vanbiesbrouck). Fact 3, The Florida Panthers have never won a Stanley Cup. They reached the Stanley Cup final only once in 1996. Fact 4, they throw stupid rats all over the ice. How does AddieB even like the Panthers anyway?"
Adam: "You went too far Paul"
Some Kid: "Ya mister.. you're a real jerk"
Paul: **walks off**
Adam & Some Kid: "The Leafs suck!!!"
Adam: "Hey Kid, you want to go get some ice cream?"
Some Kid: "Ya!"
**Adam and Some Kid walk off into the sunset holding hands**
--Time Passes--
Some Kid: "Hey Adam"
Adam : "Yeah, kid?"
Some Kid: "That stuff he said about the beezer, it's not true, is it?"
Adam: "Unfortunately, yeah kid, the beezer is a racist, he actually stopped the team from calling themselves the black panters"
Some Kid: "oh..."
Adam: "Yeah"
Some Kid: "Hey, Adam?"
Adam: "Yeah Kid?"
Some Kid: "...nevermind"
Adam: "Hey Kid, I have an idea, let's go play NHL 97!"
Some Kid: "really!? with the beezer on the cover? no way!"
Adam: "Yeah kid, with the beezer on the cover"
Some Kid: "Oh Wow! No Way!"
Adam: "Yeah"
Some Kid: "Um, Adam...were the Maple Leafs ever good?"
Adam: "A long time ago, kid...a long time ago..."
Some Kid: "Do you think they'll ever be good again?"
Adam: "Now kid, listen - I don't pretend to know the future, I can't look into some crystal ball and tell you what's going to happen tomorrow or the next day or the next day...even if I could, I don't think I'd want to..."
Some Kid: "oh..."
Adam: "....but no, the Leafs will never be good again."
Some Kid: "yay!"
--- An old degenerate bum in a nearby ditch overhears the conversation ---
Old Degenerate Bum In a Nearby Ditch (ODBIND): **coughing** "Arrrghg mumble mumble... Ay Ree-member when thee leafs were goooood "
Adam & Some Kid: **Astutely staring in disbelief. Jaws jarred open**
ODBIND: **farts** "eeet was eeelong tiiime agOoooo" **followed by silence**
Adam: "So is that all you have to say?"
ODBIND: **more coughing** "Yeees... dat is awl"
Some kid: "Well you really contributed nothing to the conversation"
Adam: "Ya, no kidding. All you did was mumble, fart and cough. What you just did was meaningless"
ODBIND: **swatting flies away from his face** "Ay'm sooooorree"
Adam: "Typical leafs fan..."
Some kid: "You wanna rough this mother-f***er up!?!?!"
Adam: "Whoa! easy there boy. In time son... in time..."
ODBIND: "bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!"
**Paul comes barging in**
Paul: "Hey! leave him alone! Gerty, did they hurt you?"
ODBIND (aka Gerty): "bwaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!"
Paul: "It's ok Gerty... there there... Paul's here now. Everythings ok."
ODBIND: **sucking on thumb**
Paul: "C'mon Gerty, lets go get some ice-cream"
**Paul & Gerty walk off into the distance holding hands**
---
Some Kid: "Hey, Adam?"
Adam: "Yeah, kid?"
Some Kid: "Do you think we should follow them?"
Adam: "Nah, kid, let them revel in the glory years, sometimes that's all we have to hang on to...Let Paul rejoice at the idea of Wendell Clark, let Gerty flutter like a pidgeon having a heart attack at the thought of Doug Gilmour...they need it, it's what keeps them hanging on. You know what kid?"
Some Kid: "What Adam?"
Adam: "I bet a Leafs fan could wander the desert for 41 years."
Some Kid: "Wow, that's a long time."
Adam: "I know kid, it really is..."
*Turn, Turn, Turn, by the Byrds begins to play*
Some Kid (Internal monologue voiced by Daniel Stern): "I remember that fall like it was yesterday, so much optimism and hope for the future. Things were changing, people were changing, times were changing and me, well, I felt like I Was just along for the ride. To be a young boy trying to understand a world gone crazy, I could hardly figure out what was happening to me, let alone everybody else. I knew one thing though, one thing I could always depend on, Winnie Cooper - my best friend - the girl of my dreams and everything I wished I could have some day. I never said it to her and she wouldn't acknowledge it, but that was the day I fell in love with Winnie. ...Also I could always depend on the Leafs sucking.
Adam: "Hey Kid, whadaya say we toss the ol ball around...we can pretend to be the Toronto Blue Jays!
Some Kid: "oh....yeah.....that would be great......"
Adam: ...
Some Kid: ...
Adam: "bwahahahaha, I'm just messin with ya kid, the Jays suck worse than the Leafs! Come on, let's be the Philly's
Some Kid: YAY!!!!! Philidelphia!
*To Everythiiiiiiing Tuuuuuurn Tuuuuuuurn Tuuuuuuuuuuurn, There is a season tuuuuurn tuuuuurn tuuuuuuuuurn*

Hypothetical Situation (But very likely)

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:09:01 -0400

Hypothetical Situation (But very likely)

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 11:17:35 -0400